There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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