i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with