Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.