imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?