Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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