You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.