Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
