i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize