He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
