Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Randomize