y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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