lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
