On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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