I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
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Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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