i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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