I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
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no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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