he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
