Please, let me fuck your mom
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
