will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
