Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
