Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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