I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we're making bets on your personal life
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
