I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
