Is it normal to miss your booty call?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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