Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
