It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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