do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
