My friends, they love my intelligence
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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