They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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