Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
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