clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I enjoy the company of your penis
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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