Cold hands, warm shart.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just google imaged poop.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
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