Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
