bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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