you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize