the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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