I'm really into asian looking animals
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
