I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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