New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
