Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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