I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
