How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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