I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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