I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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