Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
