i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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