It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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