She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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