i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
