Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
