Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
