weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
