hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize