he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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