I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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