in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
