I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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