Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
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We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
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Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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