Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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