All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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