My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
