what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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