he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
