So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
