Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
