i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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