You work out of a Hotel?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
